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[Jun. 26th, 2009|10:35 pm] |
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dear gods, i know you read live journal on a regular basis - so, i'm just asking you for a rain-free, sun shiny day tomorrow. please, please. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 23rd, 2009|02:34 am] |
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the limits of control! |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2009|10:20 pm] |
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i'm excited for - a week in montreal, a motorcycle ride to the leelanau peninsula, traverse cities film festival, camping on lake huron, driving to the pinery, saving up to go to peru |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 2nd, 2009|01:06 am] |
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i want to bury my head in sand |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 4th, 2009|09:10 pm] |
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I just want to watch The Room over and over and over, forever. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 10th, 2009|10:10 pm] |
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I love when goog-411 mishears. Once when I said "Michigan" it heard "Chicken." - listing chicken joints across the continent. And earlier today I said "Natural Food Patch," which it mistook for "Mattress." |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 18th, 2008|08:09 pm] |
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The other night I went out to LJs because this dude Trevor was "spinning records" or some kind of stupid shit. I mean, there was a snow storm, I felt like a beer, and I figured that maybe just maybe I would hear some so-so music. In the middle of a not bad, but definitely not incredible evening this butter face (old smashed in hag) stood up near the end of the bar and decided why the hell not, and got super nasty. She took off her top, then her pants, and tried her very best to shake some shit. I mean, really, shit. Then she waddled up and down the bar showing off her super-obvious fake tits. She even tried to impress us (or scare us) by rubbing a dollar bill or two in her ass-crack. (I learned the importance of washing your hands after being anywhere near money.) In the middle of the gross naked madness Colin came up and asked me where I had left my purse. Puzzled, I looked under a pile of coats where I had left it along with Kyle's. Of course, it was long gone. I looked up at him as he told me to follow him outside. He pointed out this run down lady near the end of the block. Without even a second thought I sprinted toward her. I snatched, twisted her arm back and yelled to see under her coat. I mean, she was holding it over a bulge in her belly. Think about that, It was snowing cats and dogs outside and there is no way (at least I'm hoping) anybody stuck a baby in that monster, so really, what could she be hiding? We started to tussle, and finally, like a ray of hot white light l I saw my leather bag swinging near the top of her shoulder. The sight of it made me go absolutely hog wild. I pulled her in closer and started yelling big triumphant swear words and names (like crack bitch, for instance) before kicking the complete shit out of her. I grabbed her by the throat and started to punch her in already sunk-in mug. I stopped after I had her pinned down in the middle of the road in a pile of snow; short (unfortunately) of any nose bleeds or fat black eyes, just to let her know that there wasn't even a good fifteen cents in my entire bag. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 3rd, 2008|12:11 pm] |
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Someone/Some dudes made a really great dick (or femur, i can't be so sure) on the driver side of Jeffery's van while I was working. They used a can of green silly string. They even did a little practice string-ing on the back window - which didn't pay off. I mean, it was the worst drawing of a penis pretty much ever. Let's hope this wasn't a portrait of a real-live-boner. Anyway, I drove around with it for a few hours before doing any sort of clean-up because ultimately it is funny. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 1st, 2008|11:51 am] |
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I'm about to do move number 6 in 2 years. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 18th, 2008|09:43 pm] |
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Today, at first terrified, I shot a gun in a short red dress. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 16th, 2008|02:08 pm] |
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The other day some dude lounging in capitol park started shouting, "hey girl, hey girl," at I'm assuming, some girl. Any old kind of girl - short, fat, ugly, whatever. Then in a loud hot voice he said, "I want to make you come, I want to make you come girl." |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 11th, 2008|01:33 am] |
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I just had a run-in with a whale size cockroach relaxing near the end of my bed. I'm very tired, but stranded, with my feet high up on a table. I'm a big old baby, afraid to go lay down; even though, I know, that very cockroach has no interest in me - let alone some evil plans. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2008|11:15 am] |
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I bought a dream-like motorcycle at a garage sale. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2008|08:35 pm] |
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I am on the road to Colorado; stealing an internet connection from a charter bus with wifi. We have to tail them. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 17th, 2008|07:30 pm] |
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I rode on the back of a motorcycle for the first time. I had a lot of panic laughter fits and I also got a really great snot moustache. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 9th, 2008|01:54 am] |
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Every time I took a look over at my newest ex-boyfriend this evening he had an over-stuffed mouth of food. That really good pig-like kind where you can see the ends of whatever he just jammed into his gob. A carrot end, parts of a chip with dip, cookies crumbling. Pretty hot stuff. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|08:52 pm] |
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I am so completely, ridiculously, out of control happy. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2008|06:26 pm] |
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I may have/may not have been some kind of rare beast last night. I tagged along to this party downtown, at a house, I have, in the past, been thrown out or barred from. When we got there it was sort of slow and weird, so we knew we should maybe take over - like some band of party heros. Unfortunately, they (the throwers and goers) weren't so into it. We definitely cleared most of the rooms, especially the makeshift dance floor. I'm still real shocked they didn't appreciated a gem like, "Hoochie Mama." After a good-looking puke over the porch into the nice white snow I really took form. I danced wild on a coffee table, yelling, before flipping it on it's back and then throwing every couch and chair cushion I could around the room. Someone said, "Why is this happening?" I then, threw my drink to the floor and we ran from the party, laughing crazy. I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm not invited back, ever. |
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uglyteeth's journal